Thursday, June 25, 2009


I woke up today thankful for allot of things in my life. This could have been brought on by dreams but none that I can recall with any clarity. I have been dreaming about my mother allot lately, her and I talk and in the dream i know I am dreaming. do this make sense? I'm thankful for the dream time I get with her because it's all that is left now...and memories.

Don't be sad though for she is in a better place at peace..I'm almost certain of this!

Getting back to being thankful; I want to make a daily list of WHY I'm thankful. You all read my posts and see that I'm not happy with my body and it stresses me out daily. I have some sort of fucked up standard that I hold myself to...why? I'm not sure but that won't ever go away that I can tell. I read so many other blogs of empowered woman who are happy with themselves and their life....not worrying about stupid things like scale weight, calorie counting and clothing sizes. GOD, there is so much more to life, right? Right!

I'm thankful for the following( even if I bitch daily about other things)

~My STRONG body...I am strong and capable of so much.

~ My ability to laugh even when faced with pain, fear or being uncomfortable. Comic Relief is GOLD!

~ My values....I care about people and although I screw up often, my care and heart never really waivers.

~My height--I LOVE being 5'9.5...and yes there IS an extra 1/2 inch.

~The looks I was born with with are completely natural(not counting highlights and mystic tanning). Took me years to appreciate my big nose:)

~My ability to love..really honestly deeply care for another person.

~My love of athletics. Nuff said.

~The fact that I really enjoy reading and the escapism it provides(Thanks Mom)

~The talents God gave me;Singing,dancing,painting, being funny. (note acting and modeling are skills you learn and I have to work on those constantly)

~My ability to make friend fast

~ the fact that I'm NOT *gasp* shy. HA!

There is much more but I am thankful for allot and know it could all be taken away someday. I felt the need to write this out today...


Oh BTW..changed my blog name because I REALLY don't hash anymore. This name just seemed to fit me better and NutCase Masochistic She-Ra Wannabe was already taken.:o)


April said...

I love the new blog name!

I'm so glad you get to have dreams like that :)

Ariel said...

I like it!
I like your gratitude list:)

Stacey said...

Oooooh, love the new name!

Funny I read your blog and was thinking exactly this just this morning...are we women ever truly satisfied with how we look?...the answer is NO. Even when we reach that "goal weight" or size or whatever, we always want more. Hell, even in comp shape there was stuff i wasn't happy never ends, never. Then I walked into the YMCA shower room this morning and got a look at a butt naked 80 year old woman taking a shower and was thankful for what I have...lmao!

Brit-Man said...

I'll be in touch :-) :-).

Take care.


BTExpress said...

Bulimics and anorexics feel much the same way you do about their body I suppose. I am so very glad you don't go to that extreme. I'll take your quirks any day.